Kudra had been searching for many months, map in hand, for the only thing that could set him free. A prisoner of war, he had been sent by the aging but great King Amril to find this fountain, which supposedly could grant immortality to whoever might drink from it. Many had tried to find it before, and many had failed, and it was even said that some had stumbled upon the fountain but had not realized its potential, and let it be without drinking. But Kudra was determined. He was smarter than most, and the most skilled tracker of his generation, and he knew that if he could find it, and drink from it before his King, he could save the city from devastation.
Two years prior, Amril had seized the city, and with it Kudra and his family. Pleading for his life, Kudra promised Amril that he knew where to find the famed Fountain of Youth, which no man alive had ever seen. However, Kudra's ancestors were the ones who first detailed its existence, and the King was convinced. Kudra was scared, but embarked on a dangerous journey that led him across the world back to his hometown, only to find a well that he had passed many times as a child. He recognized it as the well that no one was to ever drink from, for it should lead to certain death.
Kudra closed his eyes and bent down to take a sip, knowing that he would die if he did, but if he did not, his family would soon perish. The fountain knew of his intentions, and revealed its true self to him in that moment. The water turned from a murky brown to a crystal clear blue, as did the skies above him. Eyes still closed, Kudra did not see this transformation but felt Allah protecting him. When he finally took a sip, he could see clearer than ever before and decided to commit his life to everyone but himself. For immortality has no use if it is selfish. Kudra is said to be still living to this day.
Authors Note: This story was loosely based on the story of El Khudr the Evergreen. However, the story itself did not have much elaboration onto the backstory of El Khudr, so I created one. I thought it was fun to add elements that might not have actually been written in, to make the story come to life. I changed the names of certain characters, and maintained the overall plot while taking creative liberty on other things.
Rohan,
ReplyDeleteThis is a very intriguing story! I like how you added more detail, it always helps the story sound fuller and more real. What specific things did you add? Giving Kudra more backstory helps readers feel more connected to him, which makes us dislike the king more for taking something from him. I wonder who is the war between? How did Kudra get caught? What if you talked more about the origin of the fountain of youth? I always love a story within a story. In the author's note it would helpful if you told us more about the original story so we can see how much work you put into yours. If you wanted to make this story longer you could give Kudra's journey more detail. Maybe some of the obstacles he runs into.
Rohan,
ReplyDeleteThis was a very interesting read! I like how you blended a couple things and brought this Kudra’s story to life. I felt worried for him as he traveled all the way back to his home, and selflessly sacrificed himself knowing he would die from drinking from the well only to find he had eternal life. I also like how you added that immortality is useless if only for the sake of selfish things. I think that illuminates the purpose of life. Well done, I look forward to reading more!
Hi Rohan this was a really cool story! I never read any of those Middle Eastern tales before and found this backstory to that story intriguing! One thing that I was curious about is why did he have to be forced to drink from that water? Was there a debt that had to be payed to the other family? Or were the people scared to test it out themselves and wanted to take advantage of the weak? Those are interesting points to the story that I think would be a useful addition!
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